So many people couldn’t be with us in the church at Dads funeral, although we appreaciated all of those who lined the streets to pay their respects- it meant a lot to us as a family. I spoke at Dads funeral and below is a copy of what I said that day, on 9th April 2021. He is still loved and missed every single day.
In typical Dad fashion, he is actually late for his own funeral. I wouldn’t expect him to break a habit of a lifetime now.
I would like to start on behalf of Mum, Ross, Granny and I, by thanking everyone who has been a tremendous support to Dad and our family over recent months, weeks and days, which certainly haven’t been the easiest. We have been overwhelmed by everyone’s generosity and kindness. You never left Dad, or our family, in any doubt of how much he meant to so many people, from family and friends, to colleagues and neighbours. It would be an impossible task to mention names, as there are just too many. We would also like to thank all the health professionals who cared so well for Dad both in Northern Ireland and Hammersmith Hospital. In particular we have to mention his haematologist Dr Niblock and team who always went above and beyond. Since Dad died, over £1800has been raised for the Anthony Nolan charity thanks to Walter Millars birthday fundraiser, which we are so grateful for, and I know Dad would be too.
Dad loved all sorts of music, from heavy metal to pop, and as a teenager myeslf we went to many concerts together (even when it was very uncool to be seen out with your dad!). We both loved Ed Sheeran, and a lyric that just keeps coming to my mind over recent days is ‘ A life with love, is a life that’s been lived’. I think this just sums Dad’s life up.
Dad was born in Magherafelt and was a much loved son of Doreen and Willie. He grew up in Maine park in Galgorm where he really made lifelong friends. They enjoyed playing football together and from the stories we’ve heard from Alan Knox, they certainly got up to lots of mischief. Dad enjoyed family holidays as a child to Blackpool or the Isle of Mann and spending time with all his cousins, from Ballymena to Bangor.
He went to Gracehill Primary School, where he was taught by his Aunt Mary and then went on to Ballymena Intermediate. Dad has always been determined- he excelled in sciences but French was definitely not his forte- this became very clear on family holidays when we would learn his version of French was simply pigeon English! Dad’s competitive nature certainly came through as one of his most prized possessions were all the Basketball trophies from school which have been gathering dust on top of the wardrobe.
Dad left school and joined NI Water on 11th October 1976, aged just 17 and well, the rest is history. Dad really enjoyed his job (although he would never truly admit it). I hate to admit it, but I will actually miss him pointing out yet another treatment plant when we are out driving. Dad was very dedicated and hard working, with an almost perfect record of attendance and he continued to work throughout his illness. He had such a calm, consistent and measured approach to work and life, as highlighted by his colleagues and friends. Dad had such a genuine interest in people and what he definitely enjoyed most about his job was the people he got to work with. He formed so many strong friendships and connections. This has been so evident to us as a family from all the kind messages and friends who have visited him over the past 10 months- it has been our privilege to meet them!
Dad went to Dundee University to study Civil Engineering. During his first term in halls of residence, he took an interest in a young, shy Fermanagh girl. They developed a strong bond very quickly, and after 9 years of dating they got married in 1989 in Fermanagh. Mum and Dad loved life together and were married for 31 years. They were the best team and Dad was such a loving husband. They loved travelling together- in their younger days you could find them camping on a beach and hitchhiking around France and Greece. In more recent years, they enjoyed a little more luxury and you could find them in a south facing villa in Lanzarote where Dad could get that perfectly timed tan or enjoying trips with Jaunice And Hauke to Germany or seeing the sights of Ireland.
Mum and Dad shared many interests together, one of which was diving which took Dad on many adventures and he had lots of stories to tell (although it was usually the same ones over and over!). There was the one where he went to the Red Sea, and had that very traumatic experience where little Nemo bit off his glove. Or that time in Portrush, where he was drifting off in a current to Scotland, only to be picked up by a local fisherman. One thing about Dad though, he was always level headed and calm in a crisis.
Dad loved the outdoors and keeping fit. He soon got the nick name Action Man Hayburn …and I am beginning to understand why. He went hiking in the Lake District, rock and ice climbing in Scotland, did mountaineering leadership courses, learnt how to windsurf.. He then got into motorbikingand loved his trips with Walter and Pete all the races every year, TT and MotoGP to name a few. Then it was mountain biking every Sunday morning with Bill, Eddie and friends which involved some eventful trips to Scotland and Wales. Dad really was a true adrenaline junkie, but there was always that element of safety.
Dad always had a dream of building our family a home. In true Dad style every single detail was meticulously researched! He loved getting involved and was the apprentice of every tradesman. It soon became a running joke ‘when will the Hayburns ever move in’, but 6 years later we made it, just in time for Dad’s last Christmas. We are so thankful he saw his hard work come to fuitition and it was such a joy to see him in the home he always wanted. I know I will always find so much comfort in our new home, knowing that Dad is in every single detail.
Family was everything to Dad… He was at the centre of absolutely everything we did and even poor Murphy looks a little lost without him. I’m even going to miss him telling me to close the door because there’s a draft, or to switch the lights out as the house is like a light house.
Ross and I really do believe we had the best Dad. After all, he did always say we were his favouritie son and favourite daughter. He was our number one supporter and encouraged us with anything we wanted to achieve- whether it spending Saturday mornings with Ross out at the rugby club, or driving him and his mates to the north coast to go surfing or buying me my very first violin and being our taxi driver to endless music lessons. He was reliable. He always there on the sidelines and never missed a moment in our lives.
We are so thankful we have so many memories of Dad to treasure and to hold on to. We had a lot of fun together. Many of these were made on our yearly family summer holidays, where dad of course was chief tour guide. Every year, the holiday would be meticulously planned and endless hours were spent trying to find that perfect south facing villa or memorise a route on google maps. They were always activity filled- Whether it was packing up the car to go camping in France or a jampacked trip to Florida, where Dad and I being true adrenaline junkies would be on every rollercoaster until parks closed.
Dad was youthful at heart. He definitely liked to think he was cool and ‘down with the kids’. He had some questionable style combinations, and loved a good t-shirt.. although much to Ross’s delight he would always somehow manage to source the exact same one as him.
Despite his strong exterior, Dad was a big softie. You could often find him watching an emotional story on TV like the X-Factor with a tear in his eye.
We know how proud dad was of us and he left no doubt in our mind of how much he loved us. We are so proud of him.
Dad fought his illness with such bravery and courage, and certainly wasn’t going down without a fight. He always had Mum, Ross and I at the forefront of his thoughts. He gave it everything he had. He was always so practically minded and ‘just got on with things’. He remained positive about life and the stem cell transplant gave us all such hope for the future, which is what we needed and what keeps you going through the difficult times.
Our hearts are broken, there is no denying that and Mum, Ross and I will miss him more than I can even put into words..I guess this only reflects how much we loved him. There were so many memories that were yet to be made and moments and milestones to be shared together. We will continue to keep Dad at the centre of everything that we do and know that he will always be right there with us, always supporting and always encouraging.
I’m going to leave you with a short video that Ross has kindly made, remembering all the good times of a life that was full of love.